


Lenny's Mother Returns

by SquiggyGirl



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, F/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29206614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquiggyGirl/pseuds/SquiggyGirl
Summary: As the title says - Lenny's absent mother seeks out her now 21 year old son after a period of 16 years.  She is unrecognizable to all his friends - but him.  Squiggy, in his usual sex-fiend attitude hits on her unknowingly...Later at in probably the most embarrassing moment of his life Lenny's mother shows up again...
Relationships: Laverne DeFazio & Lenny Kosnowski
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Lenny, Squiggy, Laverne, Shirley and Carmine were sitting at the Pizza Bowl enjoying and end-of-week pizza and beer. They were extra thrilled as they had just been paid. Well Lenny, Squiggy, Laverne & Shirley were all paid as they all work at the same company. Carmine worked at a dance studio and was paid on a different day. 

"Is there any monster pictures showin' this weekend" Lenny asked and looked longingly at Laverne.

"Godzilla eats Tokyo i think is still playing." Laverne said. "You've seen it like 15 times Len,"

"Yea but its great - I love watchin' those monster pictures" he said with a grin.

Squiggy was about to say something but he was distracted by a woman who walked in. She was about 5ft 6 and 130lbs, long beautiful hair. She wore a short-sleeved black top with a plaid skirt and black pumps. She looked to Squiggy about 35 years old. Squiggy shrugged. He was 21, he didn't care if the dame was older, he wanted a piece of her.

"Hey baby wanna make out?" he said with a leer.

"I don't think so Andrew Squiggman! How dare you!" she said and gave him a glare.

"How do you know my name?" Squiggy asked 

The woman in question rolled her eyes. "I'm only your best friends MOTHER!" she said.

"Mom?" Lenny said looking at the woman standing before him.

"YOUR MOTHER?" Squiggy shrieked and made a mad dash for the men's room to hide.

"I have nothing to say to you. You abandoned me when I was 5." he said and crossed his arms defiantly.

"Now, Leonard... don't be rude" his mother told him.

"I ain't got anything to say to you." he said.

"Don't say ain't that's not proper English"

Lenny turned and looked at her. "Well maybe if you were around during my growin' up years i would have learned that!" he said.

"Leonard please. Let me explain" she said.

"No just leave me and my friends alone"

"Tsk. Bad English again? No wonder you still talk like you live in a gutter, you're still hanging around with these riff raffs. That friend Andrew still hasn't changed. Still as lecherous as ever" 

At this point Frank DeFazio had heard the commotion and came out.

"Well well well, if it isn't Angelika Kosnowski. Haven't seen you in a dogs age Angie." Frank said with a grimmace.

"Frank DeFazio, you still have that bimbo wife of yours?"

Laverne turned to Lenny's 'mother' "Do not talk badly of my mother. You're the one who walked out on your family."

"So Josephine left ya then? You take up with this trollop?" she said referring to Edna.

Frank looked at her. "My wife died when my daughter was 6 years old. If you don't mind leave my restaurant right now. My daughter and her friends do not wish you to be here. By the way, your son is an amazing young man. I've seen him grow up, too bad you missed out on it. Now get outta here!"

Angelika Kosnowski knew she was defeated.. for now and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Squiggy poked his head out of the men's room. "I-Is she gone?" he asked.

Lenny nodded. "Yes she is Squig."

Squiggy sheepishly looked at his best friend. "I-I'm sorry about that. I-I didn't recognize her" 

Lenny looked at him. "It's ok. How would you recognize her in that outfit. Squig she had major plastic surgery as well so it's ok."

"Y-yea I didn't remember her boobs being that big" Squiggy said then blushed. "Sorry"

"It's ok. She ain't much of a mother anyway seein' she abandoned her family." he said bitterly.

"Hey Len, do you want to talk just you and me?" Laverne asked.

Lenny nodded. "That would be nice." he said.

"Hey what am I chopped liver?" Squiggy demanded.

"No you're the letch who hit on Lenny's MOTHER" Carmine said glaring at him. Squiggy blushed again and was quiet.

"It's been 16 Years Laverne and she barges in here and thinks she can win me over?" he said aloud.

"She's a piece of work ain't she." Laverne said.

Lenny nodded. "Why did she have to come here? Why now?" he said. "I was havin' a perfectly good evening before she arrived!" 

"Did you want to go to that monster picture." Laverne asked.

Lenny looked at her. "A-are you serious Laverne? You and me?" 

She nodded. "Yeah I do. Sincerely I want to go to the monster movie with you. I mean we both like Godzilla don't we?"

"Can we make out a bit or am I pushing it?" he asked, his blue eyes pleading.

Laverne chuckled. "We can make out a bit once we're in the theatre"

Lenny did his best not to bite his wrist in happiness as he usually did.

While Lenny and Laverne went off to the movies, Shirley and Carmine stayed in Shirley's apartment playing a rousing game of parcheesi. Squiggy, who was just a little embarrassed to show is face anywhere stayed hidden up in he and Lenny's apartment. 

When Lenny and Laverne walked returned to 730 Knapp st, he walked her to her door, she unlocked it and invited him in.

"Are you sure Laverne?" he said.

"Len yes I'm sure" she said with a smile.

"I'm just a little out of sorts tonight." he admitted.

"I can see that." she said. "You're a nervous wreck, I've never seen you like this."

"It's my mother. Seeing her today rattled me." he admitted.

"Ahhhhh. So that's why you didn't' make a move on me." she said.

He turned to her. "I'm so very sorry Laverne. I wanted this night at the movies to be wonderful for us. But i couldn't enjoy Godzilla eating Tokyo as i normally do. I - I my mother was there I could sense it!" he admitted.

"Why would your mom be at the movies spying on her grown son?"

"Because she can." he said.

"What?"

Lenny shook his head. "She was sitting behind us Laverne. I'm glad you didn't hear her. She was whispering what sinners we were at the movies holding hands and such stuff."

"SHE called us sinners? She abandoned you Lenny! She ain't a saint!"

"I have a remember about my older cousin Joanie.... I know it was so long ago but I was 4 and Joanie was like 15 at the time. Mom found out that Joanie was kissing a boy and mom didn't believe in that before marriage. So she said to me, at the tender age of 4 that she'd better not catch me doin' anthing unsaintly til marriage."

"A year later she left you and your family Len."

"That don't matter - those words stucked in my head" he said.

"Len, we all know you've done more than just kiss and hand hold." Laverne said with a knowing look.

"Ya and now i gotta go to confession." he groaned.

Laverne sighed. "This is really not goin' as planned." she said.

Lenny looked at her. "You're tellin' me."


	3. Chapter 3

Lenny walked up to his apartment he shared with Squiggy. 

"Hey Squig" he greeted.

"Hey Len. How was the movie."

Lenny sighed. "The usual Godzilla ate Tokyo"

"How was Laverne?"

"Squig!" Lenny said with a glare.

"I mean did she kiss you?"

Lenny sighed and flopped down on the bottom bunk beside his best friend. "I blew it with her Squig."

"How? What happened?"

"My mother is what happened!" he said angrily.

"Your mudder was at the movies with you?"

"She must have followed us. She sat in the seat behind me and whispered that we were sinners"

"Sinners? She called you a sinner yet she's the one with the fake titties." he said. This time he didn't seem embarrassed at all.

Lenny made a face. "You've got a point there. Why should she judge me when she has done a lot worse."

"Yet you lost your virginity at 17"

Lenny looked at his friend. "What did you say?"

"You told me you lost your virginity at 17."

"I told you nothin' of the sort Squig." he said. "I have not..." 

"Y-you Lenny Kosnowski have not.... as the girls would say vo-di-oh-doed?" Squiggy asked.

"Shh would you keep it down! Seriously Squig have you no shame?" Lenny said. "I don't want the whole building to hear."

"Nobody will hear me"

"The girls can hear quite a bit from the dumb waiter!"

"T-they can?" Squiggy asked.

"YES WE CAN" yelled up 2 voices from below.

Lenny and Squiggy looked at each other in horror. _how much did they hear of their previous conversation._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is basically Lenny's parent's intro - His parents were never named on the show so I made up names. - given he had a Polish background i'm going to name his mom Angelika (as introduced in chapter 1 and Aleksy as his dad. This chapter is a little 'graphic' as it shows just how Lenny & his sister were conceived....

Angelika Kosnowski sat in her car and sighed. Her reunion with Lenny did not go as planned. She had imagined it to be a lot more positive. She sighed. Who was she kidding. She left him at the age of 5 on his birthday no less. Promising to go out to the store to get candles, she left and never returned. She not only left her son, but her husband and daughter as well. Her reunion with her daughter went as well as the one with Lenny although in that case her daughter's husband didn't hit on her like Lenny's _friend_ did. She never liked that boy. Not as a child and certainly not as an adult. At least her daughter was willing to talk and discuss things unlike Lenny who was a babbling idiot. Unbeknownst to either Kosnowski children, Angelika had kept tabs on both of their lives, including schooling. While Lenny struggled with almost every class he took, Amanda excelled. Amanda was married to a wonderful man who supported her while Lenny worked at the local brewery with his loser friends. Things have to change or Angelika would be in a lot of trouble. 

Angelika had changed her looks dramatically so many people didn't recognize her which is why none of Lenny's friends knew who she was. Lenny did. Through the past 16 years, Angelika had many plastic surgeries and wore wigs a lot so she'd be able to spy on her kids, Lenny mostly as she had been very proud of Amanda and Amanda didn't need any watching over. Lenny did. He surrounded himself with total losers and that Squiggy who was a letcherous little man who needed a kick in the ass. Angelika needed to make Lenny see the light to dump those losers and get into a real good group of friends. Friends who won't pull him down.

Frank DeFazio. Back in the day she had a thing for him - she lost out to Josephine Wazhername and instead married Lenny & Amanda's father only because she had been knocked up by him at 15 on their first encounter. Catholic... her parents made them get married even though Angelika did not love him. Angelika remembered what it was like having sex with Lenny's father. She shuddered. He was horrible at it. Even though they had already had an infant (Amanda was 3 months old) Angelika and Aleksy had sex again without protection and 2 months later a positive pregnancy test.

_"We are husband and wife. We need to perform our duties." Alexy told her._

_"We already have a 3 month old child Alexy. I don't want another. In fact I don't' even want this one!"_

_"Angelika, we need to give her a baby brother." Alexy begged._

_"I am 16 years old Alexy, as are you. We are kids. we don't need this burden. We need to have a life." she whined._

_Alexy didn't know why he was so into this girl. They had fooled around on a dare. In fact when they had sex when Amanda was conceived people actually watched. it was a weird feeling just having people watching them have sex. It was both Alexy and Angelika's first times. Although Angelika was known to flirt and go to at least 2nd base with many boys even at 15. Neither of them knew anything about protection. So when she started throwin up having pains... off to the doctor they went and the doc affirmed that she was pregnant. 7 months later she gave birth to their daughter. They were married while she was pregnant so they wouldn't be living in sin with a child on the way._

_"Please Angelika please do your wifey duties." he begged._

_Angelika had no want to have sex with her husband. The spark just was not there. But she gave in to his lust as he had been rubbing himself something silly and was as hard as a rock. She didn't want look at him any more standing there so pittiful so she gave in and stripped naked._

_"Oh Angelika, you make me so happy." he said and kissed her breasts._

_Something awakened in her and she began to get horny as a toad and she grabbed him by the ass as he was on her and just screamed in extasy. He returned the favor and as he entered her they screamed each other's names and it was only then they realized they had condoms... but forgot to wear one. She was not on the pill and she calculated mentally.... she was ovulating. if she was on schedule this month... they could have just conceived a baby...again_

_When Angelika told Alexy this - his ectasy went limp_

_Angelika went to the doctor a few weeks later as she knew something was wrong and sure enough... pregnant with baby #2 and due in October._

_"Amanda is not even 6 months old and we're gonna have another one! we aint' ready for this!"_

_"I have no words"_

_"You should have kept it in your pants"_

_"We are married we do this."_

_"Aleksy - we are 16 and drop outs we need money to care for our children"_

_"I go back to school and get education You have the baby and then you do the same"_

_Angelika sighed. "I hope you don't have your father's brain." she said to her unborn child. "I certainly don't want to be associated with a dimwitted loser_

5 years later......

_"Happy Birthday honey" Angelika said to her son_

_"Thank you momma" Lenny replied._

_"You sit here with your cake hun, I'll be right back. I need to um... get candles."_

_"Ok I'll be a good boy and wait." he said and smiled at her. He wondered where all his friends were. After all it was his birthday and he thought his mom was having a party for him. Even his sister wasn't there._

His mom never returned.... Angelika left the house and never returned.

_When Amanda and Aleksy came home from wherever they were they found Lenny on the couch sleeping. His shirt was tearstained....._

_Aleksy had to explain to his son that his mom had decided she didn't want to be a mom and left him in charge of raising them....._

Back in the present... Angelika got the door slammed in her face when she tried to talk to Aleksy. Seems his new family didn't take kindly to her when she introduced herself. She really wanted to make it right with Lenny or at least pretend to make it right with him. He was too stupid otherwise so all she needed was to convince him those friends are bad for him especially that floozy Laverne. She was not good enough for him....


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like writing explicit stuff (not the kind of descriptions I can read - but i can't bring myself to write..) And this chapter is not that explicit but it is definitely "mature" Some of the chapters are tame but others are at the level "Mature" Just a warning. :)   
> =====================================================

"Len?" Laverne called.  
"Yea..." he replied softly.  
'Do you wanna talk?" She asked.  
"uhm..." he sputtered.

Squiggy sighed. "I'll go uh down to the girls' apartment and Laverne can come up and youse two can talk." 

Squiggy headed down to the girls' apartment while Laverne headed upstairs. They passed each other in the halls and nodded without a word.

Laverne walked into the boys' apartment and locked the door. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He looked at her. "No I'm not." He said. "I feel like I'm being watched all the time now. Ever since she came back I feel like I'm being watched."

"Do you think she's got cameras in here?"

Lenny looked horrified. "I certainly hope not. OH god... I hope not!" he said thinking of what he did in the shower and lying in bed that morning.

"Y-your mother wouldn't put cameras in your apartment Len. How would she get in?"

"Mrs. Babish may have let her in unknowingly." he said. "From now on I'm sleepin' in my clothes."

"Len, your mom isn't a perv. "

"That's Squiggy evidently after he hit on her!" Lenny replied.

"I'm so frustrated Laverne! So many things I wanna do... and now I can't" he said and looked at her forlornly.

"Len your mom did not install a camera in here." Laverne said but she looked around to make sure.  
"I don't see any cameras' but what a bout microphones" Lenny asked.

"You are paranoid Len!" Laverne said. She noticed he was shaking.  
"Len you're shakin'"

"I'm scared Laverne. I don't want to be watched or recorded by my perverted mother!" he said.

"Take deep a breath Len." she said. "Close your eyes and relax."

Lenny closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Laverne, who was sitting beside him got up and sat ON him and began to kiss him deeply. Her tongue caressed his and soon he responded with his lower body. "Mmmm" he said.

"Mmm" right back at you Len" Laverne replied. "It doesn't take much to get you excited."

"Well it's you Laverne." he replied panting. "By the way - thank you for that." 

"My pleasure." She said. "Are you wanting more?" 

He gulped hard and looked at the woman he's fantasized about since he was a young teenager.

She obliged him and stripped off her top and bra. She stood in front of him completely topless. He stared at her in awe as the bulge in his jeans grew harder. He reciprocated by stripping off his jacket and shirt. Laverne stripped off her pants leaving her in her underwear. She had gone out of her comfort zone with a very very thin thong covering just the front, to tease him. Lenny began to sweat and he removed his pants. He was wearing his briefs. He looked down. His erection was now _fully_ and erect waiting for Laverne.

They took the blanket from Lenny's bed and threw it on the floor, they didn't want to do it on the top bunk as they were a little afraid of falling off the bunk in the middle... and doing it on Squiggy's' bed would be just icky. 

"Are you ready?"  
"Ready as I'll ever be" she replied.  
They stripped off their underwear and stood there staring at each other. 2 best friends taking in each other's nudity. They eased themselves down on the floor, Laverne on the bottom and Lenny on top. They started with kissing, their kisses got deeper and deeper and Lenny started sucking on her neck then continued down her body. She, reciprocated and did the exact same thing. HE was hard as a rock as he entered Laverne and she screamed in extacy and yelled out his name to which he yelled out her name over and over and over again. They continued for a few moments until they untangled themselves and went into the bathroom to shower and clean themselves up. As it was both their first time - it got rather messy... But neither complained.....

Down in the girls' apartment Shirley and Squiggy couldn't believe what they were hearing.

"I-is that Lenny & Laverne havin' sex?" Squiggy said his usual nasal voice even higher.

Shirley stared open mouthed at the sounds coming from the dumb waiter. "I-I" she said and looked at Squiggy.

"Shirl...why are you lookin' at me that way?" he said.

"I dunno" she said and looked at him. She looked at Squiggy, the short, yet cute young man in front of her, that sexy hair worm, that .... She shook herself. She cannot be fantasizing about Squiggy!

"Shirley Feeney are you having fantasies about me?" Squiggy teased.

"What made you say that."

"You just made a puddle on the sofa" 

Shirley jumped Squiggy and started making out with him. To her surprise he didn't put up a fuss at all. Fully dressed Shirley and Squiggy started fooling around kissing & dry humping. That was just as much of a thrill that they were gonna get as they had forgotten to lock the door.

"What the hell is going on here!" demanded a voice.

It was Angelika Kosnowski....


	6. Chapter 6

Shirley and Squiggy got up off each other and stared at Angelika Kosnowski. 

"What are we doing? what the hell are you doing in my apartment without knocking!"

Angelika shrugged. "I'm looking for my son"

"You don't barge in on someone like that!" Shirley said. 

Angelika looked at Shirley. "I never liked you Shirley Feeney. None of you are good enough for my Lenny!"

"You barged into someone elses apartment without knocking and you have the nerve to act rudely to Shirley!" Squiggy demanded angrily.

Angelika looked at Squiggy like he was lint. "Oh go make yourself useful Andrew and make me a drink"

Shirley had to hold him back from attacking her. "No Squig, don't do that..." she said.

She hoped that Lenny and Laverne had heard the conversation and were finishing up what they were doing upstairs. 

Her question was answered as both Lenny and Laverne walked into the girls' apartment. Both were not very happy. Laverne because her interlude with Lenny was cut short and Lenny, was horribly embarrassed at the whole ordeal.

"Mother what are you doing! You just do not barge in to someone else's apartment like that!" 

Angelika shrugged. "You two are immoral"


	7. Chapter 7

Lenny looked at his mother. "We're immoral?" he said.

Angelika nodded - "These 2 were engaged in immoral acts!" she replied.

"We is 2 constrenting adults" Squiggy said and looked at Lenny's mom his hands on his hips and his eyes glaring.

"'Constrenting?' Leonard you really need to find new friends - this one is absolutely stupid and an imbecile." Angelika told him rolling her eyes.

Lenny heard a audible gasp. It was Shirley. She looked from Angelika to Squiggy, who at this point had dropped the angry demeanor and stared at her. Nobody ever ever made fun of the way he talked. That just was the way he was. Everyone he grew up with and his teachers knew that was Andrew Squiggman's thing... they all knew what he meant.

"Mrs. Kosnowski, with all due respect, um how dare you! You barge into this apartment - wait no - you barge into the Pizza Bowl and disrupt everyone's Friday night, embarrass the hell out of your son whom you haven't seen for 16 years expecting a reconciliation and now you make fun of his best friend? Get the hell out of this apartment before I call the cops on you!" Shirley said and stared right at her.

Angelika gasped at the absolute gall of this child telling her off. "You have no right to be so insolent with me. Leonard come we need to talk."

"I ain't going with you now or any time. You may have given birth to me but you certainly ain't my mom. A mom takes care of her children. You abandoned them. Now get outta here or I will call the cops" Lenny said.

"You haven't heard the last of me Leonard. You certainly have not heard the last of me." she said and left.

They stood around staring at the now closed door. Shirley looked at Squiggy who was on the verge of tears. For a tough young man like Squiggy to be that insulted and hurt enough to almost burst into tears, that comment Lenny's mom made must have really got to him.

"Squig, now-s-she didn't mean it." Lenny began.

"Who am I kidding Len. I am stupid... I mean I just barely passed high school. I'm lucky enough to be a truck driver at Shotz. I know I ain't the smartest and most know that too but nobody ever ever called me stupid and actually meant it." he said.

Shirley went over to Squiggy and put her arm around him. He buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed. Lenny & Laverne stared at their friend. Never in their adult lives have they seen him break down like that. 

Lenny nodded to Laverne and they disappeared up to Lenny's apartment.

By this time Squiggy's sobs had all but soaked Shirley's shirt. "Hey Squig, um they're gone..."she said. "you're tears are soaking my shirt."

Squiggy looked up at her. His eyes were red and his hair messed up and that little hair worm curled a little bit. "I'm sorry for getting so emotional Shirl, I mean - I don't show feelings usually." 

"It's ok. Everyone is allowed to show feelings."

"Not in my house. Feelings and guys don't mesh." he told her.

"Is that what your dad told you?"

"Ya Helmut Squiggman was not an emotional man. - well emotional this way anyway. Any time he saw either Squendolyn or mom shed tears he looked at me and said _'Men who cry are sissies and girls so don't let me catch you cry'_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know this is more about Lenny and his absent mother returning but I'm going to deviate a wee bit and have a heart-to-heart with Squiggy and Shirley about feelings and possibly why Andrew "Squiggy" Squiggman is so angry all the time....

"My dad left us when I was 9 and Squen was 7. She doesn't really remember him very much. Mom had a series of guys that she went out with til she married my stepfather. I never liked him...."

"You've always been a little on the crass side Squig, I mean you hit on Lenny's mom." Shirley said with a wry smile.

"I didn't know who she was Shirl... But ya I've always been a little crass. That's the way I am. I have to be that way because other wise i'd be a nothing." he stated.

"Squiggy." Shirley began.

"No don't you see? Remember what I was like as a kid?"

"Yes. You had a very small circle of friends."

"You wanna know why?"

"Tell me why Squig."

"Lenny, Me and Hector were the _special kids"_ he began. "We was singled out because we were the dummies. No girl would even talk to us very much."

Shirley nodded. "Ya I remember. Laverne and I always talked to you guys tho. We tried avoiding Hector."

"We was grateful for you and Laverne." Squiggy said. "But all through high school we struggled and struggled and well we passed high school and graduated but barely. When Lenny's mom made fun of me it brought me back to those bully days." 

"Your dad was a bully too?"

Squiggy nodded. "Yea. I'd get into fights at school and get beaten up, nose bloodied and if dad found out I cried, he'd hit me once I got home."

"He'd hit you because you cried after your were beaten up?"

"It was Charlie Dankins that beat me up that time in particular"

"Charlene "Charlie" Dankins" beat you up?"

He nodded. "Yea. Evidently it embarrassed him that his son had been beaten up by a girl. A girl who was 3 grades higher and 5 inches taller. She had butted in line in the cafeteria and I said something and that's when she beat me up."

Shirley gasped. "Laverne and I were there and saw everything. I so wanted to go over to you and help you and beat Charlie up."

Squiggy chuckled. "Coming over to me would have been nice, beating up Charlie not a good thing." 

"Laverne wouldn't let me do either as she wanted to beat up Charlie."

"Laverne probably would have given Charlie a broken nose or a split lip. That girl was and still is very tuff. She's a kid from Brooklyn."

Squiggy sighed. "After that day I made a vow to not show feelings and keep things in. As I got older and pursued girls and they rejected me I kept pushing and pushing. Got smacked by many a girl and only a handful actually liked me for me. I do realize I'm not a very nice guy sometimes because I'm pushy and lecherous with girls." 

"I like you Squig and always have. You do come on very strong and girls don't like that but you can be a kind and loving person. Thank you for sharing your secret with me." Shirley said.

He nodded. "If I ever get overly lecherous please forgive me." he said sincerely.

"Do you think you will ever see your dad again?" 

Squiggy thought about it. "Hopefully not for many years. I am simply not ready to see him. I know all he'd do is nitpick just like Lenny's mom."

Shirley leaned in to Squiggy and kissed him.

"What was that for?"

"Because I wanted to." she said.

Shirley & Squiggy turned out the light in Shirley's living room and the two of them made out a little more......


	9. Chapter 9

"You have to confront your mother once and for all Lenny" Laverne told him.

"But..." he began.

"But nothing. She needs to realize that you're grown and that she had nothing to do with your upbringing and that you don't want her in your life as an adult"

Lenny nodded. "She frightens me" he said.

"She is a frightening person Len that's for sure"

Lenny shuddered and got out the phone number that his mom gave him. She had told him that she'd be ready to talk when he came to his senses and wanted to listen to what she had to say.

Lenny opted for a conversation out in the open at the Pizza Bowl.

"Ew Leonard how disgusting. Why meet me here. There are plenty of better places in Milwaukee"

"This is where I want to talk Mother. You have the explaining to do not me" he said.

Angelika Kosnowski made a face. "Yea I guess I do." she said.

"Ok so why did you abandon me on my birthday?" he demanded.

"I didn't want to be a mother anymore." she replied as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You 'didn't want to be a mother any more'" he repeated. "Mother I was 5 years old! You abandoned me on my birthday. Did you ever think about what you leaving would do to me?"

Angelika shrugged. "I left a note" she said. "Your father took care of you. He raised you."

Lenny blew a raspberry. 

"That was not mature Leonard. Don't spit" 

Lenny shook his head. "You have some nerve. Some damn nerve" he said angrily. "I was lucky I made it through high school. I struggled a lot and who did I have to help me? Not you or dad. Dad was too busy to help me. I had help from teachers and friends. I was made fun of in school because you left and dad wasn't around. I was lucky I had Squiggy as a best friend."

"Oh yes Andrew that short lecherous kid." Angelika said and shook her head. "you need better friends I told you. He's not the kind of person you want to hang out with."

"Then who is?"

"I can introduce you to people who are upper class" 

"Oh the snob set." he said dryly. "No thanks. I think I'll keep the friends I have."

"What about that DeFazio girl. What a bimbo she is."

"Nobody calls her a bimbo - I will not tolerate it. She is my friend and I would ask you not to call my friend a bimbo." he said.

"Leonard, you need a better, prettier woman." she said. "I can introduce you to a proper woman."

"Proper woman?"

"A woman of our class." she said.

"Mother what are you talking about."

She laughed. "Why those same class women you saw at that Debutante Ball. Why on EARTH you took Laverne DeFazio to that elegant ball is something I will never understand."

"I took Laverne because I happen to like her." 

"Classless bimbo" 

Lenny was getting tired of the back and forth. "What are we doing? All we are doing now is back and forth back and forth arguing in circles about this. I am not accepting you back into my life and that is final."

"YOU MUST" she said.

"Why MUST I?" he demanded back at her.

"I need you to take me to that Debutante Ball and present me to society." she said.

Lenny laughed. "Mother, I have not seen you in 16 years. Upon meeting for the first time in my adulthood, all you have done is put me and my friends down. Spy on me and make me paranoid. There is no way in HELL I'm taking YOU to the next Debutante Ball. You don't deserve it. The next person I take will be Shirley if I get that chance!" 

Angelika glared at her son. She must get him to take her. She must be part of society or she'll be ruined.

"You do this and I'll tell your friends you wet the bed til you were five" 

Lenny looked at him. "Most of my friends know my secrets mother, secrets far more embarrassing than that!" he said.

Angelika shook her head. "You'll be sorry. You're not my son any more. You will never get anything from me ever again."

"Mother, you never gave me anything anyway. You abandoned me at age of 5 remember. I have no real memories of us so good bye and good riddance." Lenny said and got up and left. He gave Mary some money for the pizza and drinks they had had and turned on his heel and left.

Angelika sighed. 

Frank DeFazio saw the whole interaction from afar and he shook his head. He understood how Laverne and Lenny had so much in common and why both were in sync. Both can be tough yet soft on the inside. Lenny had confided in him a few days before about his mom as Frank didn't know the entire story. Frank had met Angelika a handful of times when Laverne and Lenny were children and he even remembered his wife saying a few choice words about Angelika. Josephine DeFazio had told Frank that Angelika was a horrible mother and woman. When Frank asked why? Josephine had told him that Angelika had never sent Lenny to school with any lunch and that he should just 'share' his friends' lunches. Frank also remembered Josephine (tough broad just like her only child) standing up to Angelika when she'd berate young Lenny in front of his friend for wetting his pants. It had been a total accident. it was kindergarten and it was circle time and he had been afraid to ask the teacher to be excused. Angelika had been yelling at the youngster and Laverne was trying her best to comfort her friend.

"Angelika get out of my restaurant and don't ever come back here. Your son doesn't want you around. You cause nothing but stress and strife and we don't want that here."

"You do not understand DeFazio, my son is my meal ticket to the fancy parties." she said.

Frank scoffed. "You just want to use him for the fact he is a Count? and to get invited to the fancy parties that's all?"

"Yea that's all" she admitted and shrugged.

"You don't love him you just want to use him." 

"Gee, DeFazio ya want a medal for gettin' it right"

Frank shook his head. "Let me tell you something. Lenny isn't a part of that crowd, never was and never will be. He only went to that ball because he had to not because he really wanted to but as a Count he had to participate. He is never going to be part of high society as that's not his style. He struggled growing up. I know because he has known my daughter all these years and she would come and tell me how much Lenny struggled. You have no idea how you leaving him screwed him up mentally. If he had someone to help guide him things would have turned out different but you left him and his father was hardly around. He didn't really feel loved by anyone."

"Pffffft he had girls to love. I know he got around with the girls. That was no secret." she said. "he's his father's son"

Frank counted to ten. "Angelika... Lenny ain't like that and unless you've been spying on him you should not know anything about his sexual history."

"I have my spies" Angelika said. "He should know better anyway to do anything before marriage. 

"And you're a saint?" Frank said sarcastically.

Angelika didn't say anything.

"So my Lenny is a virgin?"

Frank said nothing. "That is nobody's business but Lenny's Angelika. That is not anything that Lenny and I discuss."

"I'll take over now. Thanks Mr. DeFazio." Lenny said. 

Frank nodded and went to the back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***I know that at this time in the early '60's most likely small mini cams nor microphones had been invented yet (or if they were they'd be expensive to purchase) But for the sake of this story they were available for rental purposes****

"You came to your senses and came back." Angelika said.

"No I came back because I want you out of my life and to stop harassing me." he said.

"I have free will, I can do what I want. Freedom of speech."

"Not freedom of break and enter and plant stuff in my apartment." he said.

Angelika paled. "Whatever do you mean."

"Don't play games with me. Do not lie to me. We found the microphones & tiny cameras."

"Did you listen to anything?" she asked.

"The cops did." 

"Where are the cameras and tapes. I want them them back." she said.

Lenny looked at her in disgust. "Who's the voyeur lecherous one? You dare call Squiggy those names yet you're the one planting video cams and tapes."

"Andrew was the one who hit on me Leonard!" Angelika said.

"Mother you video recorded and audio recorded us in our most private times!" he said in disbelief.

Angelika shook her head. "I had to. You were being sinful. You two need to repent for your sins. Sex before marriage"

Lenny looked at her and shook his head. 

"Well we conceived our daughter before you were officially married to me." said a new voice.

Angelika looked at the person that voice belonged to. Alexy Kosnowski.... 

"Alexy?" she said.

"Angelika" he replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you get put away for your sickness. Lenny told me what you did and what you've tried to do. You alienated him again. He told me everything you have done since you breezed back into his life. You tried to get back in MY life and it didn't work. You abandoned us, disappeared. I couldn't legally get remarried because we were still legally married." he said.

"Sinner" she said.

"Shut up." he said and slapped her with the divorce papers and made her sign them, which she did grudgingly. 

Angelika was arrested for a whole bunch of things as charged by Lenny and for the voyeurism by Squiggy as well. It was settled out of any court and she was slapped with a restraining order never to come near Lenny or his friends ever again. IF she ever wanted to communicate with him she is to phone her lawyer and they'd communicate that way.


End file.
